In true husband form, I received my Mother’s Day gift early. Mike will tell you that it was because London insisted she wanted to give it to me right away, but I know him and I know he was just as excited to gift me something special. I knew whatever he got was limited to few quantities and only located in a few stores around the country. Needless to say, it was a Pinterest dream come true with the help of my sister and the Louis Vuitton customer service! HA!
You might think nothing could spoil the day after opening that gift but let me be honest, the past week has been very challenging as a mother. Mike was out of town and as usual very busy with work. London has been in rare form, disobedient, defiant, and downright nasty at times. Hudson was incredibly sick and running a 103-104 fever for almost 48 hours. Such is the life of a mother. Your job never rests and it never ends. My entire body is sore and achey from carrying children and internalizing stress. My brain feels fried. My patience has been tested and my ability to show grace has been all but exhausted. Epic meltdowns and lots of tears shed this week. One thing plays in my mind, somewhere not too far away is a mother who is hurting. A mother who has lost a child and a mother who is yet to bear a child, both would absolutely welcome the chaos and trials that I face with two alive and radical children.
Mother’s Day can be a real challenge. I have friends who read this blog and have lost children to miscarriages. There are women who read this blog that have yet to become pregnant and struggle with fertility. I know of two mothers that buried children in the past week, both from tragic car accidents. Somewhere out there tonight is a mother giving birth to a child who will be given up for adoption. ALL these women are mothers and might gladly trade places with me, a mother who just had a rough day.
I see the good in everything here. The sour days remind me just how sweet the other days are. The echoing screams of a car ride are quickly stomped out by the sweet chirps of “You’re the most exceptional mother ever.” There are no gifts greater than the health and safety of my children, regardless of the day or the situation. I am blessed beyond comprehension and I absolutely know that.
Here are my thoughts each and every mother who has, had, and wishes for a child. You become a mother first in your heart, and one day it will be made whole whether on earth or in heaven or both. Mothering is something that starts in your heart and only grows. There are children out there who need you in this lifetime and that is why I so very strongly believe in the adoption process. Part of my heart feels like there is someone out there who needs me and I will continue to seek out the will of God for my family.
Thank you to all the women in my life who have made me the mother I am today and continue to encourage and support me on this journey. My grandmothers, mom, aunts, friends, you are all so special.
To my very own, there are no limits to what you will do for your family. You drive me absolutely crazy but that is what makes you great. Thank you for fighting to create our family, grow our family, keep our family together, and for all the love you give to my children. Words could never do justice to your actions.
I know the flowers and cards and gifts are so wonderful and well deserved. Mother’s Day should be special, but then again every single day should be special. I want my children to know that for every ounce of love I give them, I have felt it back from them. I’m grateful for every single breath they take, scream they release, and smile they radiate. Now, bring me some coffee, please!
Pictures courtesy of Kat Braman Photography.