Category: Family

Be still and know…

God has a plan, and it is always perfect. This is know. I must believe this.

Meet Cruz. :::Pause, please pray for him:::
cruz1Born November 19, 2013.  However, by the time you finish reading, he may have been called home to heaven. See, this is Cruz, earlier today.

CruzI do not know baby Cruz, nor have his mother and I ever met . We “found” each other on what is without question my favorite app, Instagram. The community I have discovered on there is very real. The people are real, the stories they share are real, the struggle they share is real, and their lives become entwined in mine. I celebrate and cheer on many friends but today I pray and grieve in support of one. I’m a mother and babies are my “thing” so without question this experience has shattered and shaken me so I can only imagine what Brittney and her family are experiencing firsthand at the bedside of their baby Cruz. I’m sure you’re wondering what is going on with this baby and the list of issues is not short. Most recently he was denied a liver transplant and a scan revealed multiple brain bleeds. I rarely question “WHY” and this is no exception, truthfully until I’m at the gates of heaven, I will never know exactly what God had planned when he knit Cruz together. His father is a Pastor, his mother is a loving and talented woman. I can not imagine why this baby (or any baby) would be born so full of disease and without enzymes most healthy humans take for granted not knowing the other side.

The faith of this family over the last ten weeks has only grown stronger. Never faltered or cursed God’s plan for them. Always gracious and praying fervently.

I don’t even know where I’m set to go with this post but I know that Cruz was put in my path and has stirred my heart. I know that every time I want to bang my head against the wall because my kids are screaming, I will be grateful to hear that sound because Cruz could never make that sound with a tube down his throat. I know that every single time I photography a new life I will make a point to pray for that baby and those parents for their health. I know that even if I’m tired at the end of the day, I will lay my head down in gratitude for the two children I chased all day to the point of exhaustion. I know that I will continue to lift up the mother’s I meet and the women I know because I want to be an example of motherhood, of the job God sent me here to do. I know that the perspective this experience has given me, has reminded me of exactly what kind of person I want to be and how full my heart is for others, especially babies.

So maybe motherhood is my job title, Instagram is my platform, and prayer is my duty. However I’m being used, I hope to only increase and focus on my aid to others. Tonight I am in full prayerful vigil for baby Cruz and family. I pray they find the comfort and peace only Jesus can provide, as he wraps his healing hands around baby Cruz. I pray for a shield to their suffering or unfailing strength to bear it.

What are you praying for? Who are you praying for? Tonight, please, #PRAYFORCRUZ.

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Luckily, it’s not contagious…

is all I can say about the illness that plagued me the last half of the week. I am not one to brag, but I am quite the seasoned nursing mother. Further more, nothing has changed in Hudson’s nursing routine in the last 15 months of his life. We nurse on demand. I started feeling kinda worn down and beginning flu like symptoms late last week. I tried to get a little extra rest (yeah right, that is a sick joke) and tried to up my vitamins and water. Slowly but surely, my right boob began to feel sore, show signs of redness, and become fully engorged. Now I don’t have small boobs to begin with, and I apologize to the friends who received the text image proof of this, but when I tell you one side of me was the size of an average cantaloupe, I’m not exaggerating. The pain was so intense, like hold your breath sharpness, sore to look at or even so much as brush against, and nothing was giving me relief.

Boob soup- hanging it over/in warm water and massaging. No luck.

Hot shower- I almost passed out, and then I had to dry my hair, doubt whammy.

Heat pad and warm compress- only released a few drips.

Nursing Hudson- he quickly lost interest in that side as nothing was coming out.

Back and forth via text with a lactation nurse, and sending Mike to Whole Foods for my list of crazy items to attempt a homeopathic witch potion- SUCCESS. After 48 hours and a close call with antibiotics, I can say I think I’ve healed myself. Mastitis, you are not my friend and you are not welcome back. 

Recipe for my “Get your boob loose juice” …. raw honey, cayenne pepper, vitamin c, echinacea, phytolacca, garlic (i couldn’t handle that part), and SLEEP.

Now back to my regular scheduled life, including a surprise trip to DISNEY on Friday. Yay!

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Wrex-N-Effect, a Day in the Life of a Toddler…

When I think of phrases that can explain how Hudson behaves on a daily basis, a few come to mind. Mostly song titles or lyrics because that is how and what my brain choses to store things.

Wrex-N-Effect, Rumpshaker.

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball.

House of Pain, Jump Around.

Young Gunz, Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop.


Those are just a few. I just HAD to know, and Google pointed out to me, that the toddler brain fires TWICE as many synapses and consumes double the energy of an adult brain. I’m curious to know how much coffee I would need to catch up to my toddler. From the moment he slides down the side of the bed in the morning, until the time he finally stops thrashing and passes out each night, he is on the go. Constantly exploring, sometimes re-exploring (I’m over here like “COME ON MAN, YOU JUST DID THAT and “YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT ISN’T SAFE”) but he continues to race through the house wide eyed with a purpose. I can say that my experience with a toddler boy is much different than that of toddler London. Toddler London tested me as much mentally at a young age as she continues to do, while Hudson is a physically exhausting bulldozer of a kid.

Examples of things you might find Hudson doing would be diving off the back of the furniture, pull-up from the oven handle, heaving cups of water across the room, dragging the dog around by his tail, smashing a phone or remote against your head, flicking individual pieces of food or dog food around the floor, and these are just 30 minutes worth of activity.

When we leave the house, you can find us at Target or Costco where Hudson insists on being carried or running, he will never sit in a cart. He demands by way of grunting, that he samples any and every food item you place in the cart. The hide and seek game is always a good one where he encourages other store customers to play along. Dodge the on coming shopping carts is a classic thriller too.

Should we be in what some may consider a more kid friendly environment such as a park or zoo, Hudson will hunt for random pieces of food left on the ground which also includes black melted gum spots on the concrete. Hudson will insist on touching the most foul items in the area, trash cans and or water fountains. Looking at him, you can just see his brain firing away and his eye light up with excitement and adventure and mischief! It is SO exciting, SO entertaining, and I SO wish I could be inside that little head!

A sweet moment, while London stops to smell her freshly picked flowers, Hudson climbed on the table to try and figure out how to bring down the chandelier, one crystal at a time.

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