So many people have asked questions about our adoption. About our birth mom. About her story. About our relationship. I love that the face of adoption is changing. I love that we can share part of our story. Not the entire story, not the part that is her story, just ours.
All birth moms are different. All are unique. No, they are not all young or poor. No, they are not all addicts or crimials. In fact, MOST are not any of those things. Most are women, my age, who have simply had a tough go of life and are trying to make a change. There is only ONE common denominator of all birth moms. They are share a fierce and selfless love for the child/children growing inside them, a love beyond my ability to measure, that they would sacrifice a part of their body and heart to give that child/children the very best life possible. They ALL choose love and life over anything else.
We have never met. We have spoken so many times, we have written so many letters, we have shared so many moments, yet we have never been face to face. I have yet to hug you, to properly thank you, to physically embrace you or show you the love I have for you and the love we promise to give to our twins. By some calculations, you conceived the twins on Hudson’s birthday. By some calculations, you met with the adoption attorney on the day we first learn our first match was experiencing potentially fatal complications. By some calculations, the twins would be born as both Mike and I experienced some business changes. We had a consultant who pressed on in our favor, I had compelling intuition to continue the search. But, God. He is really great at math huh? Nothing was ever a man-made equation. God knew everything. God planned each moment of your life, of our life, leading up to the day the twins were born. He had His hand on every single person and wrote every part of this story, this legend.
I remember reading about your adoption plan, and the attorney mentioning you had viewed some profiles but did not feel like any had been a match. When she asked if we would like to present, I was out of profile books, but quickly had a new copy made and shipped out overnight. I sat down to write you a letter and I just prayed that you would feel comfort in my words knowing that decision you were facing. You waited for us. I remember asking you to share your hopes and dreams for the future of the twins. I remember telling you we promised to pray for your future and how we hoped to ease the heartache of your decision.
E, you are the real measure of motherhood. You are the example of pure love and radiant light. Even in a time when you felt only darkness, I surrender that beauty comes from ashes. You are all the strength and hope a mother wishes to be for their child/children. You have given a gift that is greater in size than anything I can ever measure. None of this has gone without a price to you and your aching heart and for that I hurt too. Even in the most exciting and exhausting times at home with these babies, my mind always wanders to you and how God is using us all to do work for his Kingdom that could never be quantified here on earth.