It is happening. The ONE thing consistent with the arrival of each and every single one of my children…is this question. “Are you ready?” Which is literally like asking someone if they won the lottery what they might do with all the money… the minute the buy the ticket and the night before it’s drawn.
I think so? No? I have ZERO baby things these days since we gave them all away when we foolishly thought God agreed with our “last baby” plan. My current newborn inventory includes ONE box of newborn diapers, ONE 3rd generation Boppy, and ONE pack and play for this little one to prayerfully sleep through the night in.
Each day I walk past my little neighborhood children’s boutique and say “TODAY I WILL BUY ALL THE THINGS” but I do not walk in. Each day I start to move things around and initiate nesting but I’m easily distracted by one of our four other children, business, chickens, dog, husband, or occasional sleep.
Now is about when you’re saying “This girl is nuts. They have no business having another baby!” Right? Or some form of opinion or expression that negates the work we are doing. Because this is work. Children are fun but the foster care and adoption world is an actual JOB that I believe Mike and I are here to do. Turns out, we do love it and we are the lucky ones if we stop to take it all in.
I was sad and my heartbroke thinking we could miss out on a huge blessing to our family, a baby that would share some blood and genetics with our twins even if they look nothing alike. I was comfortable with our little even numbered crew of four and I felt like we had a lot to share with the world about our journey to each of those babies.
But God. He takes us, breaks up, shapes us, and reminds us that HE writes the best stories and when we follow what he puts on our hearts… it might not be easy but it will be for glory.
We are standing with HER. Our birthmom for over 2 years, whom we will embrace in person for the first time. We are supporting HER and the life of the baby she chose to carry. We might not have a beautiful Pinterest nursery, or a name, or all the things people assume you will have ready for a baby…but MY HEART is ready. I’m ready to me her…them. I’m ready to swaddle…I’m ready to have sleepless newborn nights…I’m ready to watch my other children fall in love and fight over holding their little baby…I’m ready to tell you all that God makes no mistakes. This baby was wanted and this life is so worth it.
I’m also really ready to walk past all the strangers I see each morning when I walk the twins…with a new baby strapped to my chest…and see the puzzled look on their faces. Most already assume I am just the nanny…this will really throw them off.